Christmas Meaning
by Cuno
Summary: A lil bit of Christmas fluff for Dill-babe. When a strange girl shows up in Gaea, having lost her memory, will she teach Dilandau the true meaning of Christmas? Merry Christmas everyone! PS: I KNOW it's OOC. But it's X-mas! Who cares?


She shivered in the snow, wrapping her arms around herself in a vain effort to keep warm. She walked through the woods, her bare feet crunching in the newly fallen snow. The filmy white dress she wore afforded almost no protection against the bitter weather.  
  
Pushing a strand of red-streaked silver hair off her pale face, she wondered again where she was and how she got there. The last she remembered was a fall from a great height, and a man yelling out her name and reaching for her as she fell out of the sky...  
  
But what was her name? It started with N. Ni... Nic... Nicola! But Nicola what? She didn't know. She didn't know anything about this strange new world she had fallen into; nothing except that it was cold. She had lost her robe somewhere...  
  
Glancing wildly around, she dropped to her knees and searched for the gold robe she knew she had worn when she fell. It became an all-consuming passion; she felt she had to find the robe. Large snowflakes began to drift down from the sky, carpeting her thick hair with a white layer. She blinked, the snow tickling the long lashes around her emerald-green eyes.  
  
"Who am I?" she yelled into the shrieking wind. Her only answer was a long, drawn-out howl.  
  
Getting to her feet again, she stumbled through the snow, not feeling; not caring; wishing it would all just end. She tripped over a hidden root and sprawled in the snow. Tears trickled down her cheeks, turning into crystal ice as they touched the snow. A peacefulness stole over her; she felt so tired she just wanted to sleep. She lay her head down on the snow, wondering why she had thought it was so cold before. It was deliciously warm now... With a soft, faint sigh, she closed her eyes and slipped into darkness.  
  
  
  
"Let's go, Folken." Dilandau Albatou snarled, grabbing his gloves and stalking towards his guymelaf. "The fools will feel they're safe in this cold weather, and so near to Christmas."  
  
"Of course, Dilandau." Folken replied, smiling slightly.  
  
"Gatti, Chesta. You're coming with me." Dilandau yelled at his Dragon Slayers. "Move!"  
  
"Coming, Lord Dilandau." Gatti called, exchanging glances with Chesta. Dilandau had been on edge ever since Twelfth Month had started.  
  
"Hurry it up." Dilandau growled, watching his Dragon Slayers climb into their guymelafs. Then they headed out into the swirling snow.  
  
  
  
"I can hardly see a thing." Chesta said quietly, hoping Dilandau wouldn't hear him. Gatti grunted assent, straining to see in the heavy snowfall.  
  
"What's that?" Dilandau asked suddenly, striding ahead and staring at a crumpled heap half covered in snow, lying on the forest floor.  
  
"It looks like a person." Gatti offered, joining Dilandau.  
  
"I can see that." Dilandau snapped. "Kill it."  
  
"But Lord Dilandau..." Chesta started.  
  
"I said, kill it! You dare disobey me? I'll kill them myself!" Dilandau shrieked.  
  
His guymelaf lumbered forward, then opened and Dilandau dropped out. He drew his sword, advancing on the helpless figure in the snow. He paused next to the person, bringing his sword up to plunge it into the person's heart. And then he stopped.  
  
His sword landed in the snow, a silver gleam among the pristine ivory. He dropped to his knees, brushing the snow away with broad sweeps of his hands. The deathly-pale face of a girl was revealed; her chest barely rose and fell with her breathing.  
  
Dilandau rose with the girl in his arms, heading back to his guymelaf. He climbed into Alseides, the girl against his chest.  
  
"We're going back." He said gruffly, striding out of the forest. Gatti and Chesta hurriedly followed him, after Chesta had picked up Dilandau's sword.  
  
  
  
  
"You're back early." Folken commented dryly as the guymelafs lumbered into the fortress.   
  
"We found something." Dilandau replied, opening his guymelaf. The girl still slumbered in his arms, but there was more color to her face now. "I had a feeling that she would be important to us."  
  
Folken arched an eyebrow slightly, but turned and left the loading bay. Dilandau dismissed Gatti and Chesta, then carried the girl to his room and lay her on the bed. She stirred, frowning slightly. Her eyes slowly opened, focusing on Dilandau's face. For a second she stared at him with wide green eyes, and then she jumped up.  
  
"Where am I? Who are you?" she demanded, searching his face.  
  
"I am Dilandau Albatou, of the Zaibach Empire. This is my flying fortress. Who are you?" Dilandau replied, his eyes shining with a mad light.  
  
The girl shrunk back from him slightly. "My name is Nicola. That's all I know. What is this Zaibach Empire?"  
  
"The rulers of the world!" Dilandau exclaimed, laughing insanely. Nicola's eyes grew huge, and she clutched at the blanket on the bed.  
  
Dilandau narrowed his eyes. "What were you doing out in the snow?"  
  
"I-I don't know. I don't remember anything!" Nicola said, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Don't cry." Dilandau said softly. "Come with me, I'll get you some better clothes."   
  
There was no trace of madness in his eyes or face now, but Nicola accepted his hand warily. He led her through the hallways until they reached a dark room filled with clothes. Dilandau pulled a white tunic and a plain grey skirt out of the pile and handed them to Nicola. She smiled at him, her smile making her even more beautiful.  
  
"You can change in my room." Dilandau said, dragging his eyes away from her face. He led her back to his room before leaving to find Folken.  
  
Nicola sighed in relief as the door shut behind the silver-haired youth. Despite that she was inexplicably drawn to him, he still scared her with his lightning quick mood changes.   
  
The clothes she held were of good, thick wool, and Nicola wondered where they had come from. As she held them, a hazy picture began to form in her mind, and then exploded with dizzying swiftness. Nicola dropped to her knees, seeing a scene from the past. A family worked on their farm, laughing and chattering happily. Then, a great flying fortress crested the mountain, sending out swarms of huge metal beasts. The family was destroyed; the possessions in their house stolen before the whole farm was torched.  
  
Nicola got to her feet again, throwing the skirt away from her. The tunic was a man's, and therefore gave her no frightening visions. The skirt, however, had belonged to a woman who was murdered by an old man who saw the future. Nicola couldn't see him properly, but there was an aura about him that chilled her more than the snow had.  
  
She slipped the tunic over her head, straightening it out. It was so large it came almost to her knees, but she was glad of the added warmth. Her white dress clung to her slender figure, and it afforded barely any protection against the weather. She ran her fingers through her thick, waist-length hair, combing out the worst knots. A knock on the door made her jump.  
  
"Come in." she called, looking distastefully at the skirt.   
  
Dilandau opened the door, glancing at her and then down at the skirt on the floor. Nicola shook her head at his questioning look, and he shrugged.  
  
"Nicola, if you'll come with me, I'll introduce you to Folken and my Dragon Slayers." Dilandau said, his voice carrying a tone of command. Nicola nodded and hurried out the door after him.  
  
They walked down another hallway, Dilandau striding ahead without seeming to notice Nicola. Nicola looked around, disheartened by the grim pallor that hung over the entire fortress. Dilandau stopped outside a doorway, motioning Nicola closer. As she stepped up next to him, he swung open the door and stalked into the room.  
  
"Nicola, these are my Dragon Slayers." Dilandau said, pointing at the fifteen youths who stood at attention. "That's Folken." He added, pointing at the older man with the sardonic smile.  
  
"Pleased to meet you." Nicola replied. "My name's Nicola. I'm sorry, I don't remember anything other than that."  
  
"You seem very familiar." Folken mused, staring at her with a strange intensity. "No mind. Dilandau, Dornkirk's orders are to attack a small town called Nuhuli. It should be easy work, but Dornkirk wants it done right away."  
  
"You're going to attack someone?" Nicola asked in horror. "Those poor people! How can you just kill defenseless villagers like that?"  
  
"Quite easily." Dilandau replied, then laughed.  
  
"Haven't you ever heard of goodwill?" Nicola demanded, looking each of the Dragon Slayers in the face. As her gaze fell on them, they all dropped their eyes. "You're nothing but a bunch of murderers!"  
  
"We are part of the Zaibach Empire. Everything the Zaibach Empire does is for the good." Dilandau said, his eyes vacant as he said it.  
  
"For the good of who? Your own selves?" Nicola asked bitterly. "It can't be for the good of these people you are going to murder."  
  
"Of course it is all for the good of these people. They defied Zaibach." Dilandau snapped, glaring at Nicola.  
  
She stared back at him, her eyes shining with tears. She took a step forward, grabbing his arm and searching his face.  
  
"Please, Dilandau, don't do this. Zaibach is wrong!" she whispered.  
  
Dilandau stared at her for a moment, then slapped her across the face, knocking her to the ground. She held a hand to her cheek, where the angry red imprint of his hand was on her pale skin. Her eyes were huge, a horror and surprise in the emerald depths. A single tear trickled down her cheek, before she bowed her head.  
  
"Move!" Dilandau snarled at his Dragon Slayers. They jumped, then ran out of the room.  
  
"Dilandau, there was no need to get violent." Folken said quietly. "She does not understand our ways."  
  
"I don't tolerate insolence from my Dragon Slayers. I'm not going to tolerate it from her." Dilandau snapped, turning on his heel and striding from the room.  
  
"Nicola?" Folken asked, crouching next to her. It angered him to see her shrink away from him, afraid of another blow. "Nicola, get up. You don't understand Zaibach. This is a war we're fighting, and there are always casualties."  
  
"This is not a war. War is not attacking defenseless people in great machines. I hate war. Especially this close to Christmas." Nicola replied quietly, wiping her eyes. She glanced up at him, looking puzzled. "Wait, Christmas... There's something important to that, but I can't think of what it is."  
  
"Christmas? It's a time of celebration. People exchange gifts." Folken explained. "As to the war, it is war. A war Zaibach will win."  
  
"Of course Zaibach will win. Cheaters may win the first battle, may win the first war. But they always lose in the end." Nicola whispered, pushing herself to her feet. "In the end, the cheaters are the losers."  
  
Folken stared after her as she walked out of the room. Her surprisingly in-depth views of war set him to thinking. There was more to her than met the eye, and she looked very familiar. Something tickled the edge of his memory, about a painting of a silver-haired girl who looked like her. But he couldn't remember what the painting was about.  
  
  
  
Dilandau laughed as they reentered the loading bay. Nuhuli had been a small, slumbering town. The Dragon Slayers had destroyed it easily. Many people hadn't even been awake when his flamethrower destroyed their houses and them with it. Yet, despite the happiness he felt at a successful raid, he couldn't get Nicola out of his mind. Her shock and horror made him wonder if maybe he was wrong. And what hurt most of all was the hurt and disappointment in her eyes.  
  
He could understand anger; it was only natural for her to be angry at him. Even if she was scornful, or sullen; then he would understand her. But she had only seemed disappointed in him, as though she thought better of him than that. He slammed a fist onto the controls in front of him. Why couldn't he get her out of his mind?  
  
"Dismissed." He growled at his Dragon Slayers. He watched them as they scurried away, wondering why he never saw their fear before.  
  
He wandered down the hallways, not sure what he was searching for. After a few minutes, he snapped out of it and headed towards his room. Maybe Nicola would be there. He would like to say something to her; would like to know if she feared him.  
  
He opened the door to his room silently, absurdly pleased when he saw Nicola sitting on the bed. He stepped in, closing the door behind him. She glanced up as he entered and immediately jumped to her feet. He noticed that there was a faint bruise on her face.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dilandau, I'll leave. I won't bother you anymore." She stammered, keeping her eyes down.  
  
"No, I'd like you to stay." Dilandau replied. He noticed the wary glint in her eyes as she glanced at him, then quickly away again. "I-I guess I'd like to... apologize."  
  
"It's okay, really." she said quickly. "I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, I don't understand your world. I don't even know where I am. I don't even know who I am. I guess you have to fight your war." She twisted her hands nervously in front of her.  
  
"I guess we do." Dilandau said softly, taking her hands. "Still, I should have realized you didn't understand."  
  
She looked up at him, the hurt leaving her eyes. She smiled at him softly, then threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Dilandau hugged her back, feeling awkward. He felt pulled in two directions at once. One part of his mind was joyful that Nicola had forgiven him, and shown her trust in him. The other part of his mind recoiled from her; recoiled from her pure and unfettered emotions. That part of his mind screamed that he should kill her before she corrupted him any more.  
  
Nicola seemed to realize his conflicting emotions, because she pulled back and blushed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes." She said, her high cheekbones a rosy pink.  
  
Dilandau smiled faintly. "It's okay, Nicola. I'm sure you would like to get some sleep. I'll show you to your room."  
  
She nodded, resting a hand on his shoulder as she passed. He followed her out of his room, then led her to another room close by. She thanked him quickly. He closed the door after her and turned back to his own room, his mind racing. He threw himself on the bed and closed his eyes, trying to block out the tiny voice in his head which demanded he kill Nicola.  
  
  
In her own room, Nicola tossed under the sheets. She felt herself falling, screaming someone's name as the fierce wind whipped around her. Something hovered in the sky, bright red and green, pulled by eight creatures. A sack loomed in the back of the object, and a man with a long white beard hung over the side, reaching for her hand. She stretched for his hand, feeling their fingers just brush before the white light enveloped her and she woke up in the strange world with her memory gone.  
  
"No, no... Don't let me fall! Nicholas!" she screamed, waking herself up.  
  
Her body was drenched in a cold sweat; her heart beat against her chest twice as fast as normal; her breath came in short gasps. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down her wildly pounding heart. The image of the flying object appeared in her mind again. She frowned. Who was Nicholas?   
  
The name was very familiar, and every time she said it, she felt a warm glow. She struggled to put a face to the name, and slowly a tall, white-haired man with a long white beard appeared. He was dressed in red furs, and carried a bulky sack on his back. Beside him, a strange grey creature shimmered, large velvet antlers stretching high above its head.  
  
"Nicholas..." Nicola murmured. "Nicholas is... Nicholas is my father! And that creature... It's called a-a-a reindeer! A flying reindeer? Why would a reindeer fly?"  
  
She buried her head in her arms, on her up-drawn knees, as she tried to remember. Her father, Nicholas, flew in that red-and-green object, pulled by flying reindeer. The sack he carried contained presents. But for who? The red-and-green object... That was called a sleigh.   
  
Another image appeared in her mind: a woman with curly white hair and a jolly smile, taking cookies out of the oven as she scolded Nicholas for not wearing his boots. A tiny creature with pointy ears held a list up to his nose, peering through miniature glasses. The woman... She was Nicholas' wife. But what was the little creature?  
  
Nicola groaned, exhausted by her day and the effort to remember. She lay back down, resolving to ask Dilandau or Folken tomorrow whether or not reindeer fly.  
  
  
Nicola knocked on Dilandau's door just after she awoke in the morning. The fortress was silent; no one else was up. Dilandau opened the door, rubbing his eyes and yawning.  
  
"Dilandau, I have something to ask you." Nicola said nervously. "I had a very strange dream last night, and I was wondering... Do reindeer fly?"  
  
Dilandau, in the middle of a yawn, closed his mouth with an audible click. "Where did you get that idea, Nicola? I don't think reindeer fly. You'll have to ask Folken." He replied evasively.  
  
"All right. Thanks." Nicola replied, heading back to her room. Behind her, Dilandau shook his head and shut the door.  
  
  
Nicola woke again with a start. She had fallen asleep again after talking to Dilandau, and dreamed again of Nicholas and her mother. Nicholas delivered presents to children, on a certain night every year. But why, Nicola wondered, would he do that? And what was that little creature with the pointed ears? She had seen many of them this time, all working hard to complete toys.  
  
Nicola climbed out of bed, walking over to the door and opening it. She could hear talking from down the hall. Slipping outside and closing the door behind her, she walked silently towards the voices. She peeked into a lighted room, and saw Dilandau, Folken, and the Dragon Slayers eating.  
  
"Folken, can I ask you something?" Nicola said, walking into the room. Dilandau saw her and shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but Nicola beat him to it. "Folken, do you know if reindeer fly?"  
  
One of the Dragon Slayers choked on his food, coughing as Folken regarded Nicola with a hint of humor in his eyes. Dilandau turned his attention back to eating, glancing up occasionally to see Folken's reaction.  
  
"Well, Nicola, they might." Folken replied, then turned back to his food. "Get something to eat."  
  
"But that's exactly what Dilandau said earlier!" Nicola protested. "If I know whether reindeer fly, I might remember who I am."  
  
"They might, Nicola, they might." Folken repeated.   
  
Nicola watched him for a moment, then went and got herself something to eat. She sat down next to Dilandau, not noticing the glances exchanged between the Dragon Slayers as they saw where she had sat down. She started to eat, but then stared down at the table as another vision hit her.  
  
A family, laughing as they sat down to a great feast. A plump golden bird had place of honor on the table, roasted to perfection. Bowls of vegetables, potatoes, and fruits covered the table, and bottles of wine sat in a bucket of ice. The family exchanged a few small gifts, the children chattering excitedly about their presents. Behind them, a beautifully decorated evergreen guarded a pile of brightly wrapped gifts.  
  
"Nicola. Nicola! Nicola, are you okay?" Dilandau demanded, shaking her.  
  
Unreasonable fear gripped his heart as she failed to answer. There was a blank, faraway look to her eyes. Dilandau shook her shoulder roughly. Suddenly, her eyes cleared and she looked at him, startled. He became aware of the stares from Folken and the Dragon Slayers and took his hand from her shoulder.  
  
"I saw something. A feast. A family having a feast, and a great tree with presents." Nicola said, flustered. She saw Folken glance sharply at her.  
  
Folken had remembered the painting's theme when she had mentioned the feast. It had been about Saint Nicholas and his family. Surely they couldn't be real? Yet here was Nicola, knowing things about Christmas when she had lost all memory. There was also the fact of her uncanny similarity to the daughter of Saint Nicholas. And hadn't the daughter's name been Nicola? Folken shook his head. There was no way it could possibly be true!  
  
"Christmas..." Gatti murmured. "It's been so long since I've had a real Christmas." The other Dragon Slayers hastily told him to be quiet, but Dilandau was lost in thought.  
  
"I'm sorry." Nicola said. "I-I have to go lie down." She pushed her chair back from the table and ran from the room.  
  
Dilandau got up from the table, his glare commanding the Dragon Slayers to stay where they were. He walked slowly out of the room, only breaking into a run when he reached the hallway. He reached Nicola's room and knocked softly on the door.  
  
"Come in." she said softly, reminding him of the day they first met.  
  
Dilandau pushed open the door, walking into the room. Nicola sat on the bed, wearing just her white dress again. Dilandau realized with a sinking feeling that she had remembered her past. He stared at her, trying to control himself.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dilandau, but I have to go. I finally remembered... I have to help my father and my mother. They need me."  
  
"Nicola... I think I've fallen in love with you. Please don't go." Dilandau replied, sitting on the bed beside her. He took her hand.  
  
"I have to, Dilandau." She said, then leaned over and kissed him softly. "I promise that I'll come back. I love you..."   
  
She vanished in a glittering cloud of red, silver and green. The faint scent of gingerbread drifted into the room, and bells chimed softly. Dilandau slowly got up, his hand falling on a brightly wrapped package. He unwrapped it, finding a tiny golden chain with Nicola's name on it. There was a little note in the package. It read 'Dilandau: I have one just like it, with your name on it. I'll always remember you, and I will come back.'  
  
Dilandau tossed the paper away and put the chain in his pocket. He left the room, heading back to the dining room. Once there, he stopped dead. A giant evergreen tree stretched it's emerald branches to the roof. Packages, big and small, covered the floor underneath it. The Dragon Slayers were searching the presents as Folken watched, his mouth wide open.  
  
"Lord Dilandau! It's Christmas!" Gatti cried.  
  
Dilandau didn't answer. He was thinking of the girl with the silver hair and sparkling green eyes, and of her promise to come back. He looked at the golden chain and smiled. She would keep her promise.  
  
  



End file.
